Reacting to your privilege

Privilege is not something that can be explained, but rather something that has been seen and experienced by someone for them to truly understand the concept. For me, my moment of understanding came in my first year of university

It was the first day of university and a young me was nervous, excited, and anxious as roommate listing were about to be published. This could make or break my year as a bad roommate would spell disaster. Little did I know when reading who my roommate was, that the man paired up with me would go on to be a close friend, my roommate for the next 3 years, and also the man who helped me (without him realising it) understand the value of my privilege.

We had completely different backgrounds, schoolings, and economic situations at home, and yet we both ended up in the same place at the end of the road. I had no right over him to attend a private school or to grow up in a wealthier family, yet that is what happened. Day by day, I began to understand the differences in our upbringings and realise the many advantages I had over him while growing up. This is when I finally began to understand what privilege was. It was not something I asked for, nor something I deserved, yet it was something that gave me an advantage over everyone else.

Discussing privilege with one of my friends recently showed me that there is more than one way of reacting to your privilege.

When I understood my privilege, the only emotion that came to pass over was guilt. Guilt that I had an unfair advantage over others, guilt that I had taken my privilege for granted, and most of all guilt that even with all my advantages I had ended up at the same place as my roommate despite my privilege. I questioned myself constantly asking why me and not my roommate, and how much more could my roommate could have achieved with my privilege? So yea, all I felt was guilt and self-loathing...not very cool.

My friend, on the other hand, had a completely different spin on the situation when he realised his privilege. Instead of guilt, he felt appreciation, and most importantly the desire to use his privilege to help those that were not as lucky for himself. He was grateful for his opportunities and benefits that his privilege brought him and spared no thought as to what others may have accomplished if they had been given what he had been given. A more wholesome reaction to realising your own privilege as you waste no time drowning in self-loathing and go out into the world with the attitude of helping others.

I didn't want to get bogged down in the topic of discussing privilege in this blog as it is a fairly deep topic that I don't fully understand yet. I wanted to discuss more of the different reactions people can have when understanding their privilege. How a simple difference in attitude can mean turning your own asset into your own weakness and source of anxiety for you, as it was in my case.

Special mention to my mates Dom and Thato who unknowingly inspired this blog posts.

Shailen